MosquitoBytes « MosquitoBytes Volume 06: Decried Deity - 2005 «

Synaptic

Girl of Hept

Hold the hand
That holds my mind
As it oozes from my head
Listen to the words I say
Do I sound like I am dead

Smile
When I am dying
Laugh
As I’m digging
Until I make no sound

With one breath
Two breaths
No more air remains
Seems my lungs have faltered
I’ll have to write it down

Smile
When I am dying
Laugh
As I’m digging
Until I make no sound

When you need me there
Even though you scream
I’ll crawl from where I lie
Trailing close behind me
The love that will not die

Shannon McEwen on Nov. 22 2008 edit · delete

First of all I like.

One thing that struck me is the simplicity of your repeated stanza. with few words you say a lot. I'd like to see that a bit more in the other stazas.

I like the repeat of the stanza, it brings it all home.

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Life is what happens while you wait for great things.

Mercieca, Andrew on Nov. 23 2008 edit · delete

Thanks Shannon, though some would argue that I already say far too much. :P

Mos.

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