smile
it was just there
unclaimed and intended
like a secret
but more
like a secret tended
by a secret
upturned at the edges
a crescent bow
not perfect
not really
but better
just so
and so sweetly
there
on one tip
a question's
mark
whose
curve
so softly knew
wonder
whet wonder
over
beyond
then under
around
a dip down
and then up
a bend
and point;
just there
unclaimed and intended
for no other face
in the whole wide world
but mine all mine
from you
unclaimed and intended
like a secret
but more
like a secret tended
by a secret
upturned at the edges
a crescent bow
not perfect
not really
but better
just so
and so sweetly
there
on one tip
a question's
mark
whose
curve
so softly knew
wonder
whet wonder
over
beyond
then under
around
a dip down
and then up
a bend
and point;
just there
unclaimed and intended
for no other face
in the whole wide world
but mine all mine
from you
Derma Kaput on May 15 2007 edit · delete nice. the title of this crept all over my face as I read it. there's maybe a few phrases that kind of clunk here and there, much like an imperfect smile, but on the whole I like this - it seems to capture the small bit of joy inherent in the topic.
Jayne on May 15 2007 edit · delete Ok, I'm thinking....'upturned' at the edges...kind of misses something or other, like it would have already been claimed, and so 'lightly' is off to my ear...where else does it klunk? (this one wants to do klunk-free choreography on toe:)) ty muchly
Jen on Feb. 23 2008 edit · delete I've always wanted to write a poem about a smile but I found it to be very difficult.
I really like what you've done here. I think you just need to find a rhythm/meter and stick with it; the rest will fall in place. I think that might be a contributing factor to the "clunk" problem.:)
