The Personal Space of Janelle Rice « Beneath the baby moon: the ramblings of Janelle «
Immortality
Gazing upon me
Color of rich almonds
I see my universe born
In eyes that are mine
“Hi baby…” I sigh
Intoxicating!
Salty rivers flow
down flushed cheeks
leaving trails of wet happiness
Life begins, with a wail.
Fullness of breasts
Pulling her close to me
Smelling of sour sweetness
Sleepy bubbles on rose petal lips
Years sweep away, like the tides
Skipping across tall grass
Wildflowers strewn through
Unruly chestnut hair
Eruptions of giggles
My immortality, complete
Comments
Very nice, Janelle. In S1L2, you might consider, "Rich almond color". This is very nice, simple, effective, sweet. Not much to comment on here because the poem says it all, and well.
Alcuin