A Phone Conversation with God

Hello?

Who?

Oh, come on.

Of course, I don't believe you.

Bullshit.

I'm hanging up unless you can prove it.

My what?

Yeah.

Mmm-Hmm.

Really.

Well, yeah, that's true.

Wow. How'd you know about that?

Well, ok. But if you really are God, then why are

You calling me from a phone?

I mean, it's ludicrous.

You could just appear.

What do you mean you're naked?

Oh, come on.

On vacation? Where?

Oh, yeah, it's beautiful. I've been there.

Um, it was right before our son was born.

How is he?

What? You don't know?

Every night I ask you to watch over my children and you're asking me

how my son's doing?

Who's that there with you?

I heard somebody laughing.

No, you're not. There's somebody there.

Who is it?

Why won't you tell me?

There they go again!

The maid?

You know God, I'm not stupid. You, of all deities, should know that.

Whoever it is, put him on the phone.

Just put him on!

Hello?

Are you the one I heard laughing?

You sound drunk.

What, are you getting loaded with the Lord?

Oh, he's just watching you get loaded.

Well, what's your name, Pedro?

No, it's not.

You are not named Pedro.

Ralph? I don't believe you.

Socrates Oh! Give me a break.

You must be someone important to be hanging out with God.

Are you some kind of angel?

What's so funny?

You just did what?

Poked God in the butt with your what?

Horns

Oh, good God.

(listening to them both laughing)

So, you guys vacation together?

Ohhhhh, I see. It's a business trip.

No, I don't want to hear any jokes.

Call the Vatican. I'm sure the Pope would get a big kick out

of them.

No sense of humour?

Well, yeah, that's a problem with religion.

Listen, I gotta go.

Watch those horns.

Tell God I love him. Okay?

Bye.