MosquitoBytes « MosquitoBytes Volume 05: Interjaculate Love - 2005 «
Andrew ID 38.66 SP6
The truth
We are not whole
Eroded
Psyche refurbished
Is this I
Yes
But a new version
© 2005, Mosquitobyte
Brent on Aug. 26Just not my cup of tea. Where did I put my cup of tea?
Big thoughts shoehorned into overly simplified language, but this kind of subject matter needs a very light hand.
Brent
Mosquitobyte on Aug. 26A small thought actually, disguised as something more cerebral. Seem's I'm too obtuse for some. Oh well, it serves its purpose.
Thanks as always for dropping by.
Mos.
Derma Kaput on Aug. 27definately oboe. I'd check your reed, mosquito. I really like the idea of the last line, though the "psyche refurbished" part that builds toward it doesn't strike me at all. In fact, nothing really builds outside of the thoughts. How could you shape the poem (and by that I mean develop the thoughts into something compelling) without relying on overly simplistic statements? I guess after "eroded" you really lost me. This feels totally undeveloped.
Mosquitobyte on Aug. 27he he, all very true statements Derma. In defense of the ludicrous state of this piece, consider the following....
How often do people talk about "the new me"
Imagine what is required to have a "new" self, then place this in the context of computer software.
It would require a complete rebuild from the coding up...i.e...the DNA. A rather brutal process one would imagine, for a corporeal being.
Thus, to give those who oft use such an inane phrase an inkling of the stupidity they posess, one is forced to be brutal, lest it waltz by them and they mistake it for a "self assessment" piece. 
Me? I'm not interested in a "new mos", I'll be content with the occasional software update and will never resort to being re-booted.
Thanks as always Derma, your comments are always chrystal.
Mos.
Aphasic on Sep. 2Mos - perhaps if you applied service pack 6 (?), this would deserve its purpose? *defragmented smile*
