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Cherries Roll Downhill
Cherries roll downhill
Tumbling along
Vibrant
Bouncing
Vital-plump
happy cherries
Bouncing
Fresh
Bold
Succulent and ripe
Firm resilient
Rolling downhill
downhill
Crashing headlong into everything
skins ripping dripping
Pulp spilling
Gushing
Staining all
juice
exposed
Sonic boom of bursting cherries
bursting
Trampled underfoot…
Comments
Shan on Oct. 13 2008 edit · delete I love cherries! This has a very sensual feel to it, the more I read it the more I like it. The only thing I'm not sure of is the double "Juicy"
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Laurie on Oct. 13 2008 edit · delete Thanks Shan... I have added and removed that second "juicy" a few times already... thanks for helping me make up my mind about it.
Tracey on Oct. 13 2008 edit · delete
Jasmine Mann on Oct. 14 2008 edit · delete Ha! Tracey is so clever. I really liked this. It's got a great rhythm and I think would be perfect for an open mic. The only thing I didn't like was "sonic boom", but perhaps that's because I played too much Street Fighter 2 as a kid where a character goes "SONIC BOOM!" every time he hits someone. And yes, I would definitely keep the red color.
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer." - Arnold
Jasmine Mann on Oct. 14 2008 edit · delete Ha! Tracey is so clever. I really liked this. It's got a great rhythm and I think would be perfect for an open mic. The only thing I didn't like was "sonic boom", but perhaps that's because I played too much Street Fighter 2 as a kid where a character goes "SONIC BOOM!" every time he hits someone. And yes, I would definitely keep the red color.
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer." - Arnold
Laurie on Oct. 14 2008 edit · delete Thanks for the assist with this everyone... You are right Tracey uncertain didnt fit the tone of this one... Hope this is better.
Jasmine Mann on Oct. 14 2008 edit · delete Oh Laurie, that one word made a world of difference. I love how "vibrant" and "vital-plump" echo off of one another.
