Comment: With Regard to Those Boys Unrefined

Instead of "the conquest of all in their path", why not try "to conquer all along their path" or some such?  That will get rid of a rather uncomfortably stressed line.  Otherwise, I shall simply agree with Alcuin -- I imagine I do know what you mean   The fourth stanza, and the last, stand out as particularly strong -- but there's really not a weak one.